For those of you that don’t know, I’m a stand-up comedian and like many last years, my diary got a little bare.  The week before lockdown came I did eight gigs in one week (all to varying success) but my point being I was a working stand-up comedian then the pandemic hit and our industry became irrelevant. We became court jesters without a court.   

Save the tiny violins because if there is one thing I know about comedians is, we are resourceful and we took our business online and thus gave birth to the online gig.   If you have not participated or performed in one it’s exactly as it sounds. It is a stand-up comedian in their home, in front of the laptop performing to a camera usually on Zoom, God I wish I got shares in Zoom a year ago,  to a virtual audience replacing the crowd in a comedy club.  So, online gigs took off and comics were doing them more than Harry and Meghan telling us what to think and feel.  

I did many of these gigs, again to varying success, but now we are lurching out of the darkness as the end of lockdown nears (hopefully) and if we stay on course this roadmap will have comedy clubs reopening around mid May.  However I am left asking myself, as are many in my industry too, Do we continue online gigs? What have we learnt from them?  Do they have a place in this brave new world?  It seems a  shame to waste what we created out of our own resourcefulness.  I, therefore, have written, to help us through, the pro and cons of the online gig. 

Pro

I don’t have to leave my house!  I can stay in the comfort of my flat and avoid crowded tube rides, long and awkward car journeys with other comics and pubs at which the club is often above that I wouldn’t let my dog into let alone use their toilets.  (Seriously, during one gig the pub toilets blocked so badly it stopped the water supply and the whole place had to be shut down)

Con

I want to leave my flat!  My flatmate cooks with too much garlic and I’m starting to smell like a bad Italian restaurant and don’t get me started on my upstairs neighbour guitar playing.  He has butchered Stairway to Heaven! 

Pro

If I haven’t worked up much of a set, I can grab my new kitten Hobbes and distract the audience with his cuteness which runs the clock.  Most audiences love him (Obvs) and if you’re the sort of person who doesn’t like Kittens, then don’t come to my gigs you monster!

Con

No one is actually there.  Stand-up comedy is similar to the old saying ‘’if a tree falls down in the woods does it make a sound?”  If a comic makes a joke into Zoom and they are all muted, was it funny?’ The same goes for if they are unmuted.  Without that immediate physical energy you get from a live audience in front of you, it’s really hard to know what lands.  

Without a physical audience in front of you, it’s sometimes hard to know how a gig has gone…

Pro

Sometimes you don’t want to know how the gig went. Dying on stage in front of actual people is well…like dying!  We don’t call it that for any other reason than accuracy. I finished online gigs with no idea how they went and honestly looking back, it was for the best.

Con

The internet.  The internet has many benefits, an endless source of information, all the porn and cat videos but it’s where so many people get themselves cancelled.  Let me put it this way, online gigs often mean you are throwing jokes out into the entre internet and it can very easily be taken out of context and suddenly its on Twitter and you in deeper shit than Arnie Hammer.   Go careful out there fellow comics, the virtual world is a minefield. 

Con

Zoom audiences are in the homes and therefore have a rather laid back etiquette.  I swear I heard and saw a woman in the top left screen of my Macbook fart and then sniff the results.

Pro

Dress up! I love to glam myself up for gigs and online has been no exception and sometimes my only chance to look good for anything.   It’s worth adding my first online gig was well into the first lockdown and I  forgot how to use eyeliner.  That cat flic look took seven attempts to get right but worth it in the end. 

Con

You have to make yourself look half decent!  The lockdown has been very trying on our emotions, I’ll admit, the thought of just getting out of bed let alone full war paint nearly gave me an anxiety stroke.   Especially when my hair was so unruly I could comb it and my pubes at the same time. 

Pro

Jogging bottoms.  So when you see me perform online you only see the top half of me.  Little do you know I wear jogging bottoms with no underwear below the camera! Pure blissful airing comfort.

Con

Technical glitches.  My goodness, nothing like someone leaving a microphone on and you get feedback of yourself telling your joke after you’ve told it and still no one laughs. Cringe for days! 

Pro

You can remove hecklers with one click!   Thanks, Jackie Weaver for empowering us all to just remove those dickless pigs.  A twitch stream featured on one of my gigs and an audience member let’s call him ’Twat Chops”,  saying he wanted to cum on my face.  I felt practically orgasmic when I blocked him from the event.   If only you could do this in person! Just one click and those sexist dinosaurs are gone in a puff of smoke. 

Con

I don’t get to see my below comic pals.  Even the ones I don’t like much!  Bloody hell, I must be desperate if I miss seeing people I despise.

Pro

Let’s end on a nice note….

So what have we really learnt…online gigs have given access to many disabled people, who before lockdown couldn’t access comedy clubs and theatres.  Art and culture should be accessible to everyone and for so long venus have been inaccessible and no one has looked up.  It has taken a pandemic, closing of an industry, with it then going online to highlight this but it must not stop here and a valuable lesson to be taken forward.   I am not saying we should stay doing online gigs only, Lord no!  The reality is we need to be back in front of audiences but why not live to stream our gigs? Bring live work, with live audiences to people’s homes for can’t get to the venue?   It can be done at minimal cost but makes maximum difference to so many people.  You may not think this matters to you, ‘I can get to theatres, I don’t need this. ‘ but one day you might not.  No one is immune to disability.  

Sorry that all got a bit Meghan and Harry on Zoom again didn’t it.  Allow me to summarize, online gigs aren’t as fun but let’s combine the access they provide to our live work so no one misses out.   Make the effort,  if not for everyone else, do it for yourself. 

Georgie Morrell is a stand up comedian writer and disabled advocate.  She is an ambassador for the Wilberforce Trust and can be heard every Monday presenting Sounds of the Silver Screen  on RNIB Connect Radio.  

—-